What are Sand People?
by Jared C. Phillips
Summary: In my SW story Luke is attacked by a Sandman once before when he is four and barely survives. This 'one shot' story is a short conversation just before bedtime with his Uncle Owen who knows his history and has sworn to Obi-Wan to protect him and his Aunt Beru who is doing dishes around the corner. Chutah is a Jawa and all you trolls who bash can suck it! Enjoy!


"Uncle Owen, what are Sandmen?"

"You have been in a medically induced coma for weeks, needed more blood than adult Womprat and have been in bed for three weeks now. I need you to turn on the sleep inducer again. The 'Trips' came by _again_ and played with your toys and destroyed your room, you all had a good time and tomorrow you can go outside for the first time in what I'm sure feels like forever."

"Please! The trips say it was an evil spirit and Ms. Ondix, she's pretty, called it the 'King of the crawlies' and said we need a bigger swatter when she brought Auntie the vegetables.

"Why are you wasting your water vapor on the subject? They are the worst. You know that. Did you effervesce your chops with the timer set?"

"Yes."

"Put the Jawa-proof lock back on your hover-disks?"

"Yes."

"Have you armed the proximity detector on the back inside gate?"

"…"

"It's fine I did. It's there just for those varmints. Please check it _every _night, anytime you are up from bed and _when_?"

"Every morning before we open the back door to the domicile."

"Thank you. Now pull up the covers and go…"

"But you didn't answer my question uncle!"

"Yeesh! You really like the scary stuff right before lights out, don't you?"

Luke grinned. His uncle just shook his head.

"One day I am going to slay a giant evil dragon and his minions that are out to destroy the universe and Auntie Beru and you and Chuta and the Jawa triplets, I dreamed it and I was a hero and…"

"Enough, kid! You have to make sure you don't end up on a platter in a clay hut or in front of Jabba the Hutt himself. Scratch what I said, _He is the worst thing ever. _Everyone else who is evil is just an imitator he and his clan were the first things to come out the back end of the 'Great Beginning."

"Owen! His ears! He's four orbits old for flames sake!"

"Well I ain't lying! Now _go to sleep! I love you!_ Now give me a quick peck…"

"Uncle! _The Sandmen!_"

"Bah! Ugly things! Filthy is what they…"

"But _what_ are they? Under the wraps? I saw the ones leg sticking out you shot away on the rocket you and Foreman Gintz made."

"How could you have? You were in the Surgical Rescue Machine, that thing almost cut you in half, you should be fertilizer."

"I was dreaming I was standing next to you when you did, it was like I was a blue lighted spirit and I got up and walked out of the Surgi-…"

"Never mind that kid! They are a highly evolved insect. They stand like humanoids but are _absolutely feral. _The word means they will eat you alive kicking and screaming as you now know all too well."

"Will Jabba too!?"

"No, the worm can be bargained and talked with and he would want a little morsel like you candied like Aunties Bonna-Berrb Crustover dish."

"I would taste good that way."

"…You are the oddest thing you know that? Any way if I don't get crackin' you are never gonna' let me outta here."

"Yeah."

"The things are insects, but not peaceful hivers like Jawas who became more like lizards with brains walking upright. Sandmen are more like the hard-shelled six and eight-leggers that burrow into the cliffs where the Red plain meets the Dune Sea only these things hunted Jawa exclusively and mastered their evolution through 'Mimicry' or _looking_ like they are one their kind until humanoids landed here a hundred thousand or more years ago. Now they have adapted to make you think they are one of _our kind_. Desperate inexperienced newcomer's or even experienced space pilots get into trouble sometimes from the extreme heat entering our atmosphere and have to put it down out in the dunes and end up stranded. The Sandmen are clever predators though. Often their victims do not realize the garbled weak pre-recorded transmissions with the sounds of droid-speak looking for a response and the flashing lights of a phony ground patrol rescue party are just a ruse to keep them stationary until the ones you do not see in the dark behind you are close enough to strike. They kill us real humans and take our clothes, steal our water and Banthas and equipment and worst of all, they love the taste of us and especially are attracted to the smell of little humanoid kids. They have no social order other than the most brutal and healthiest reign for a short period and are then cast away at the first sign of weakness or disease. They have leathered over armored plates formed from minerals extracted from their victims' blood which soak themselves up with water, if you stripped one and salted it the beast would turn into jerky so they have no choice but be prisoners to heavy wraps."

"Chutah hates them and when the triplets were playing on the ridge they said another Jawa child was flashing a rescue beacon on the rock formation six marks west from north. When they told Chutah a few minutes ago he sent them home and he grounded them for being close enough to even see it."

"That would explain why my Macro-Binoc's were missing for three days and are suddenly back where it was I put them, Beru! Remind me to update the lock software that little girl of his is clever and has really tiny claws, I bet her brothers are putting her up to it!"

"I heard and I just sent Chutah a notice, dear…He says they are locked in their rooms for a week….the little girl said she was watching the Kiltzi's migration across the dunes when they spotted the beacon and she's sorry."

"See kid, _they know we are here_. Their offspring are tenacious, they dress in the cast aside clothing of the big one's victims and even will venture into the Jawa's Cliffside Village lairs themselves and snatch up the tiny's who are born but haven't opened their lids yet then run out into the desert and get as much in them as they can through that awful Sarlac hole of theirs before a bigger one takes it away."

"Gross!"

"I know! Disgusting murderous things with no mind of decency ever."

"It's fingers felt like sharp sticks but they have hands and wear gloves just like us right?"

"No, they don't, son. The have three flexible spikes like claws but thinner, its why they always attack with a weapon in hand, you can break their 'hands' and wrists easily if you can call them that, but their forearms act as their jaws. The bug's middle four legs now are part of what appears to be human arms and legs reinforcing their stance and strength of attack. The things can literally _tear your limbs off out of your clothes and then they suck the meat off your bones while it's the last thing you see and feel."_

"Shooting Stars Owen! You are going to make _me_ have nightmares!"

"They must be smart. They have laser rifles I heard."

"No, they are stupider than everyone in Mos-Eisly Space Port cloned into one idiot. If they have a weapon it's only as good as it operates or they have the right ammo. They aren't like you or the little lizard trio who can put stuff together and take it apart, they can't remember thirty six digit docking numbers like we can or speak four tongues like you kids can."

"Were up to six now, Bocci is next."

"Good you can talk to the Hutt's Waterman to convince him to take a drink and make the sale so the overlord remains safe."

"I'm not afraid of a big worm!"

"Keep telling yourself that kid. So what are the rules now?"

"Lock it up!"

"Yes."

"Check the perimeter constantly."

"Yes."

"_And never ever trust Sandmen! Cuz' they suck the meat off your bones!"_

"Very good Luke. I love you so much. I am sorry what happened to your parents. I want you to stay with me here with your auntie forever and together we will reform this dried out depression and tiny caves into a deep cool palatial paradise worthy of a Royal family. I love you.

"I love you too uncle and Auntie and the 'Trips' and Chu…"

"I get the idea, now please, go to sleep that crazy old man in the robe and beard I told you about is a doctor and he is coming by tomorrow, he gives me the creeps so let's get him out quick all right?"

"O.K."

"Good night luke."

"Good night, uncle."

"Beru, what are you doing, sweetie?"

"Owen, that kid would laugh in a demon's face but you freaked me out just now. Are you sure we shouldn't just put up an 'Auto-blaster' and roast anything that approaches the rear?"

"I would love to but this place is crawling with kids now and we just can't take a chance. Better he knows the truth and to keep his eyes open."

"Aw, and you used to say you hated Jawas you big softy."

"Speaking of Jawas and things I hate. Is Chutah in hiber yet?"

"Hold on…No. I thought you liked him."

"I do, he bathes, go figure and his wife's real good at anything involving a sail, rope or knot."

"He's says, 'what's up', Boss?'"

"Tell him to let the 'Trips' out, they can use the 'Macs' but to put them back the same day."  
>"He says mom gave them the next two days in lockup because they lied to her about where they were."<p>

"Fair enough, tell Chutah and…oh, flames, get the whole crew and tell the P.M to come in early and clock out early, the A.M. crew to get out the carbon fiber armor and load up Speeder with Ammo for Rancor and we'll cookout early."

"By 'cookout' you mean…?"

"Both, were gonna' roast that new settlement of bugs grabbing hold in the rock formation, if you don't get rid of bugs quick we'll get over-run before you know it, the farm hands want to grab a bunch of Womprats anyway, their pretty big this time of orbit."

"Sounds good to me, I'll call the Ondix's and see what's in season."

"The wildlife is getting a little too close for my comfort. Plus if we strip and cure the things out into crunch strips with powdered salt in the canyon in the north sector I can move them at market for a little extra something and be doing the planet a favor it doesn't deserve."

"…Done, she'll drop off a tuber assortment and Quill Weed seed is in. it'll be here in the morning."

"Good! I love Quill Weed, now ring Chutah back and tell him to get his rifle out and meet me at the speeder and to bring a rescue response return beacon and two sets of night vision specs. We're gonna' take care of a whole pack of 'little' problems right now before the suns go out for the day, the little ones are quick and won't be around when we show up in the morning, they will be outside the Cliffside Village somewhere going through garbage, we'll roast the adults and radiate the place for the next five thousand years."

"Is it safe to do that?"

"Oh yeah, humans can take large amounts of it and have it neutralized later easily if exposed but their wet exoskeletons suck it right in and hold it till they die a few days later."

"Awww, Owen, you love your boy and the Jawa 'Trips'."

"Oh, hoppy-talk. I do not, gimme' a kiss and where are the I.D chips for the speeder?"


End file.
